Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
