apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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