I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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