I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
