Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
