Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
