Plan B is the new Plan A
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
