I hate all girls vehemently.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
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