these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
