is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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