Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
