it hurts more in the daytime
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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