you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just had sex on a roof
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
