I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
