Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
