You work out of a Hotel?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
