i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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