My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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