i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
