You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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