wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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