let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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