I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize