The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
