I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The struggles of a small town man whore
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
