You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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