3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
