I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
