So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
