I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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