if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
