Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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