Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
