how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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