fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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