i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
