Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
What drink are we having for lunch?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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