I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
