I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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