I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
