do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I want a musical about memes.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
