I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
