I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
