we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
