I wish I could punch you in the face.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
