We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize