Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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