i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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