marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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