is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
