"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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