I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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