I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
