Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
