All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize