I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
