There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize