i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
