I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
3 2 1 whiskey
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
