I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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