I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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