The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
