Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
